Worlds and Cozumel without an ACL

So after Cancun, I had 6 weeks to get ready for the World Championships 70.3. In Cancun, I had resigned to the fact that the Worlds was all about getting in...and I would go to enjoyt it - every minute of it. No stress. No performance anxiety. Just take it all in. Hang out with the best triathletes in the world. That goal changed when the Cancun slot rolled down. The new goal was, "Can I go sub-5 hours?"

Well that all ended on the beach in Siesta Key, FL.

Finally feeling 100% healthy, I entered the Siesta Key Sprint Triathlon with a new jump in my step. I absolutely KILLED the 800 meter swim; finishing in 13 minutes. I averaged 24 mph on the 14 mile bike and ran the 5K in under 23 minutes. That was good for a 3rd place in my AG and a podium finish.

I went out to run with Mel on the beach...Felt great for the first mile and then out of no where..."POP" goes the weasel. I know the feeling. My knee buckled and some meniscus came loose. That is usually followed by stiffness and swelling. My knee was toast.

I came home, found a great Orthopod, underwent an MRI and confirmed that in addition to my severed ACL (which I did in 1992 and never fixed) I had a inoperable meniscus tear and early onslaught of arthitis. Dr. Mehalik confirmed that I need reconstructive surgery but racing in Worlds and in Cozumel would not do more damage to my knee. Doc was clear that it is as bad as it gets in terms of ligament and meniscus damage and overall instability of my knee.

So I took a cortisone shot and limped in to Worlds. I added significant volume to my swimming and some hard core biking leading up to the race. I limited my running to a few tempos and 1 long run. Not enough to get to sub-5 hours in Clearwater.

In Clearwater, I had an awesome time with the family and the Bartons. T-Bart promised to travel to Clearwater if I ever made it to Worlds and there he was. We had an awesome Suite at the Hyatt and had a festive two days of hanging out, eating and laughing prior to the race. One set-back was that I got "sea-sick" in a pre-race swim so I panicked a bit the night before; but Yolanda recommended these Acu-pressure bands and they worked perfectly!

There I was the night before, tossing and turning with the "fake sleep" and the anticipatory anxiety. My first worry was whether I would turn up limp on the run...that fear was compounded by the sea-sicknesses which never happened on race day. T-Bart also recommended some Pepto and that also worked fabulously.

Race day was incredible. The fastest triathletes in the world. I woke up on race morning and finally surrendered to the race, the competitors and the atmosphere. I actually entered "Cloud 9" on the beach before the gun. No body fat on anyone. No one seemed anxious. Just a bunch of men and women who looked ready to attack! All business.

The gun goes. I didn't site well. My goggles fogged. It was very rough but I got through it. 34 minutes and change. Not my best. But no sea-sickness. The next goal was to crush the bike. I was excited to try to beat my 21.1 mph in Cancun. I nailed it with a 21.3 mph. That was great considering the two big bridges we faced and a pretty strong head wind at times. I was struck on the bike by all the drafting and some terrible accidents that involved back boards and ambulances. I couldn't believe how fast life could change with one pot hole or gust of wind.

My bike race ended with fascination. I can not believe there are 2,000 people who are faster than me on the bike. I podium in local races. I am dedicated to my trainer sessions and long rides. I got CRUSHED on the bike. I felt like I was standing still. I have a lot of work to do.

I get in at 3:15 and know that I have NO shot at a sub-5. I never really had a chance. So off I go on the run. First loop the knee felt fine. A bit stiff but no stability issues and no pain. Second loop I ran in to Jason Gunter and ran with him for about a mile. He was shadowed all day by the NBC crew which was super-cool. I knew I had Cozumel with him two weeks later so we chatted about how we felt and how much we would conserve for Cozumel.

The day went by way too fast. It was one of those races where I did not want it to end. Every mile felt like a gift. The conditions were incredible. No humidity. Mid-70s. Just perfect. I accepted the mess with my knee. I was grateful that I made it in after all my hard work and the challenges from this summer. I marveled at the fact that my parents and Mel and JJ got to see me race for the first time and experienced all the hoopla. I was overwhelmed at "Ironprayer" the day before and grateful that I could experience that with Mel, T-Bart and Dad. I loved that I got through the anxiety of the week and I finished strong in 5:18. My cardio was incredible and it gave me confidence for a strong Cozumel.

There were some more "Murphy's Law" moments leading up to Cozumel. Mel's mom calls and cancels her trip to Fort Myers. Mel will not be with me in Cozumel. Apparently Mom's cat is on his last legs and it would not be right for Mom to travel. Then, the day before I am supposed to leave, I have a mix-up with Mel and my passport is locked in the Northern Trust vault. Packet pick-up ends on Friday @ 6 PM. The soonest I can get in to Cozumel is 2 PM on SATURDAY. Then, a stomach bug hits Mel and I...

Oh great...Mexico, stomach flu, late check in, Mexican bike mechanics...This doesn't look good.

I text Jason the news. I didn't want to alarm him but he should know what I am dealing with. I was planning to be the "Sherpa" and help in the event of any mechanical issues. I wanted to provide moral support as he dealt with his demons from his DNF in Kona 400 days earlier. I wanted to be there at the finish for his moment of Glory.

So after much tossing and turning, dealing with the stomach virus and celebrating my wedding Anniversary (5 years) on Friday...I depart on Saturday and everything is fine. Flights are on time and my bike gets there. The hotel is great. Incredible service. I cab it to T-1 and the mechanic puts my bike together. There is an issue with my timing chip and I don't receive any Race Schwag but I can deal with all that.

That night we meet an elite athlete and coach - John Reiker from Chicago. He is calm, cool and collected. He wants to go 9:25 on Sunday and qualify for Kona (he was a DNF on Sunday due to the heat). Jason and I go over our race day strategy. Patience on the swim. Methodical on the bike. Heat Management on the run. We learn from John that the forecast is for heat and calm winds. This works for me but scares Jason. Heat is his cryptonite.

As part of my pre-race ritual, I attempt to find a church and Vigil mass. I find one in the hood of Cozumel and it is in Spanish. I understand some of the prayers, songs and ritual. I pray hard. I am a mess. Nerves. I never pray for race times or good performances: always for safety, perspective, strength and conviction.

Back to the hotel. Fake sleep on Saturday night. I go to bed @ 9 and toss and turn. 10 Pm. 11 PM. 12 midnight. 1 AM...then its fear and anger. "Please God - I need my sleep..."How do I complete an Ironman with no sleep????" The mind is so powerful. Sanity is often so elusive.

Race morning. My stomach is still not right. I force down some toast, a banana, protein bar and some coke. I meet Jason and we head to transition. This is a cool area that feels like a jungle. I get set up with my uncrustables...I fill my tires. Re-body-marked. I am ready. Jason is ready. He seems so calm.

The pros go. We jump in the water. We're like caged animals. The gun goes and I am immediately at peace. Patience. Patience. Find clear water. Long, slow strokes. I am swimming at a "forever pace." I get through the first 600 and feel great. I turn back but don't feel the expected "down" current. I swim smooth, site well and stay calm.

At about 45 minutes, I start to struggle a bit. I start to sense that this is not going to be a sub-hour swim as I had hoped. The stroke gets short and I start to tire. But I get through it. I get out in 1:04 and I am nauseous. Not motion sick. Just nauseous from the stomach bug. I force down some water and gatorade and wait for Jason.

Jason crushes the swim in 1:14. We meet in transition and off we go. It was HOT. Hot @ 8 AM - Like 85 with 95% humidity and no wind. We get out on the bike course and follow our plan. I meet some great people!!! Patience. Methodical. Focus on heat management. We stay at 18 MPH for the first 20 miles...My right aero pad was loose and I had to fix it but overall, the bike was uneventful. The stomach issues soon passed. Jason was hurting a bit by mile 60-70, but overall, we were on our plan. He was gonna finish his first Ironman!!!

What a beautiful bike course. The most beautiful bike course I have ever experienced. 3 loops. 12 miles of drab nothingness, 13 miles of beautiful ocean front cycling and 12 miles with a tail wind heading into town...The town-people were inspirational. Absolutely amazing. They made us feel like rock stars.

We get in to T-2 @ 8:30 which feels great. That means we can transition and run an 8 hour marathon and be fine. I never thought we would need it but we did. Jason was REALLY hurting at the end of the bike course. He was sick from the heat and the liquid nutrition.

We get out on the run. The sun was going down thank God. We are doing 15 minute miles...Not good. But not terrible. Still in position for a strong finish. Jason puked at Mile 2 but felt better. If the crowd thought we were rock stars, they thought Jason was the Messiah. Here's a guy with one leg and one arm who was about to finish a 140 mile Ironman. Unfathomable.

The chant was "Si Se Puede" - Yes you can! We were starting to feel it. It was very tough to go that slow and mentally think, "my God we are going to be out here another 6-7 hours"...but steady as she goes!!!

We met up with Pepe from Mexico City who advised us to go with a 6 minute run / 1 minute walk system. That worked for a while. Moreno from Torrino, Italy met up with us at mile 20. He was in a Speedo and un-phased. Craig from Australia stayed with us for 15 miles but was hurting bad. The whole thing felt like an out of body experience.

My stomach was shot at Mile 5. I tried coke and pretzels but by then, the pretzels were stale and the coke wasn't doing it for me. I was drenching Jason in cold water to keep his body tempt down...but I was shivering uncontrollably. He took over 15 salt pills on the "run" - I just wanted to be done. But we had Mile 23 @ Kona "haunting" us every step of the way. I also didn't know if my knee was gonna buckle. It seems that the slower I run, the greater the chance of a "buckle". I had a brace by my knee felt loose.

We finished in 16:16. Jason's wife Loree was there for the last mile. She was so calm yet fired up that we were gonna finish. She has such a cool aura. Calm. Cool. Collected. No words could describe the elation at the finish line. The atmosphere was electric. I felt like I was in the Tour De France, Superbowl and a U2 Concert at the same time.

"Jason Gunter and John Gamba from USA; It is my distinct honor to say to you both...YOU ARE AN IRONMAN"

Si Se Puede!!!

YES I Can-Cun!

So qualifying for the World Championships came down to Ironman 70.3 Cancun. The Spring 2010 training and race season went well with solid performances @ New Orleans and Ironman St. George. Those races set me me up perfectly for the "race of my life" in Cancun.

Then, Murphy's Law...

It started with some weird stomach virus that forced me to take a week off in early June...I lost 10 pounds and literally didn't eat anything for 7 days. Finally recovered, I headed north to drop JJ off at camp and managed to put my elbow through a glass table at a Bike Store in Richmond, VA. This required 4 stitches. Then, there was a severe case of Strep Throat that I caught on July 4th in Ocean City, NJ. This required 3 trips to Urgent care and 4 rounds of antibiotics, steroids and inhalers to knock out the bacteria and build back my lung capacity. Then there was a Levaquin (antibiotic) scare where I mysteriously tore my right calf muscle on an LSD training run.

Not to mention the economy sucks, the family businesses are struggling and Baby Ben recently entered his terrible twos. Never a dull moment!

So - I was obviously NOT 100% entering Mexico for Ironman 70.3 Cancun in mid-September. I was gimpy with calf pain and officially had viral pneumonia on race morning. Wasn't Cancun the official incubator for Swine Flu in 2009??? Nice!

What else could go wrong? Well the day before the race, I brought my bike case to the mechanics for assembly. Low and behold...they were gone. Only in Mexico. The Program says they would be there from 10 Noon to 5 PM. It's 2 PM and they were now where to be seen. Panicked, I asked a diminutive security guard to hold my bike as I tried to put it together. Ninety minutes go by. It was 96 degrees outside the Expo. I am drenched, coughing, hungry and thirsty.

So Pepe spoke no English and just sat there patiently holding the bike as I cut my hands on the chain and stripped two bolts in my aero bars. You really can't make this stuff up. We finally got it together and I rushed to transition to park my bike. Of course, I broke my back bottle cage on the transport bus...so I had nothing to hold my water bottles. That's okay because race day averaged 93 degrees and 95% humidity. Who needs liquid nutrition?

So on race day morning, after another night of fake sleep, I take my medicine (albuturol, symbosis, steroids, antibiotics, Flonase and ibuprofren) and head to race start. International racing is a trip. No one knows where to go and no one likes Americans. This was "Viva Mexico" and Mexican rules all the way.

Gun blasts and I am off. First 800 meters of the swim were solid but the salt air and heightened heart rate started to get the best of me...I was laboring with my breathing...A little panic but all in all, a solid first half. I missed the far buoy and lost a minute...but the second half was down-current and I flew.

I get out in just over 31 minutes which is my best swim for a half Ironman. It was a 500 meter run to transition which was tough...but I had a GREAT spot and was out on the bike course in no time.

The Cancun bike course was Booooorrrriiinnnggg!!! Through the back bush land. But it was fast. It started with a 15 mile straight course with a tail wind and then 13 back into the wind ... double loop. There was HEAVY drafting...Big packs heading into the wind and no officials to regulate the cheating. As Coach Angie warned, "you have to draft or you are toast"...I tried here and there for a few miles but I am just NOT into drafting. It's more fear of crashing vs. fear of being penalized. I had fun dumping water on competitors who tried to draft off of me.

My goal was to average 21 mph. If I could do this and then a sub-2 hour half marathon, I would have a shot at qualifying for Worlds...At 45 miles, the clouds opened and there was a torential down-pour...and this was into the wind. I couldn't see anything and my speed decreased to 18 mph...

But, I rolled into T-2 @ 2:39 which is 21 mph on the BUTTON. Unfortunately, my Newtons and socks were "floating" about 5 feet from my bike slot. It was a flood in T-2. As I laced em up, the sun came back out and the black-top was "steaming" - It was surreal.

I noticed in T-2, that there were 10 bikes on my rack...which meant I was in 10th place. I knew that there would be 4-6 slots for Worlds with a few roll-downs...I had a shot...First mile was about 8:15. Not good. I was in trouble early. The sun was blazing and the roads were jet black. No wind. Official temp. was 93. I was getting passed by 1, then 2 and then 3 40-44 year olds...My hopes were fading. Is it possible I was so good on the bike but would choke on the run?

Thank God for the volunteers and aid stations. They were at every kilometer...I dumped water on my head and drank at every station. At about Mile 3, I started to have a feeling that walking was a possibility...But then at Mile 7, after the turn around, I got a second wind. I started sensing that more people were slowing down and I could pick em off. I saw 5 competitors passed out cold on the side of the rode. They were toast.

Maybe the summer training in Fort Myers would pay off.

I felt strong at Mile 10 and sped up. No chance I would walk. I passed 1, then 2, then 3 4o year olds. Every time I passed them, I tried to pass them with authority to break their heart. At Mile 12, I passed a 41 year old "wobbler" who was in trouble. I calculated that I was probably in 14th place in my age.

I then caught a Mexican guy just before Mile 13 and I said, "let's do this"...I sprinted. He sprinted. He dropped me like a bad habit. I asked him if he was trying to qualify for Worlds and he said "yes - but we have no shot." Not good. Running through the finish, I felt let down. I felt good that I finished and good that I nailed the Swim and Bike. I felt good that I dealt with injury, pain and sickness and didn't flagger out. But I ran a 2:06 half marathon which is lame for me...a runner by nature with a 1:34 PR. Five months earlier, I went 1:52 in a hot New Orleans run venue.

Total time was 5:26. My goal was 5:10 - which would have been 6th place.

Turns out, I finished 13 out of 133 in my age group. Good but probably not good enough.

Then, the fun begins. I go to the awards assembly and learn that due to the number in my AG, they are letting 6 go to Worlds instead of 4. I then learn that only 2 of the first 6 finishers took the slot. So now I have to wait for the awards and then they start the roll-down. That means there are 6 guys in front of me for 4 slots. The first 3 go immediately. Then they call the 10th place guy...Not there. 11th place....NOT THERE. OMG. They call the 12th place guy and it was like slow motion...An eternity - "Please God - Call my name..." Then, it happened - "In 13th place, John Gamba from USA, are you here"....YES, YES, YES...I am here!!!

I'm in. I made it to the World Championships. I'm hyperventilating...Despite the pneumonia, bike woes, torn calf, hot conditions, tough competition, lack of sleep, lack of food, I make it in. I am going to the Worlds in Clearwater!!!! Frantically, I call Mel, call T-bart, text everyone I can think of..."I am going to Worlds"...I am going to compete against the best triathletes in the world!!! That was the best night sleep ever!!!

Yes I can!!!

New Orleans 70.3 and Ironman St. George

This is a post of paradoxes. Elation and disappointment. Hope and humility. Achievement and failure.

On April 18th, I returned to race Ironman 70.3 New Orleans. My goal was to improve on last year's 5:28 time. This after an injury-free base and build training season this Winter. All was good with strong prep races at the Naples Half, Disney Half and the Clermont International (Olympic) Race where I qualified for the National USAT Championships in Tuscaloosa, AL.

One major question heading in to New Orleans was whether my strategy of training for an Ironman would deliver strong results at a 70.3 distance. I figured with my weakness being the bike, I would pack in more cycling miles (specifically 4 century rides) into 7 weeks of my build phase - then I would taper and nail New Orleans. After that, I would rest for a week and then "have fun" at Ironman St. George.

The other question was how well I would run considering a clear focus on bike improvement this training season...

I got my answer in New Orleans.

Conditions were not perfect. I had bi-coastal flights, red eyes and serious work commitments 6 days before New Orleans. Weather was a factor with a heat wave moving through New Orleans.

Mel was with me the whole way. We did our annual party night on Friday which involved a few extra drinks in the Big Easy...We had great fellowship with McRay on Saturday night at an awesome Emeril Lagasse restaurant called Nola.

Race morning. The bus to T-1 is always a trip. Nervous energy. I snuck Mel on the bus which helped keep me calm...I always feel on the brink of panic attacks on those transport buses...Anticipatory anxiety. I walk in to T-1, set up my gear and initiate my warm up routine...The water was "cold" (more later on the DEFINITION of cold). The wind was picking up...I could feel the nerves building. I tried to remind myself...everyone has to deal with these conditions.

They changed the swim venue this year. It was much slower with 3 different turns vs. last year which was a straight shot to T-1. One final twist on the swim...they put the Women's 45-50 AG right in front of our wave so navigation would be a factor.

The gun goes and there goes Andy Potts the eventual winner. He is a All-American / World-class Swimmer and he was Flying! Our wave goes out early and I felt awesome. Nerves are gone. I was struck by 5 AG women who were hanging on to buoys half way through the swim calling out for boat rescues. They were done. The water was rough...which is perfect for me. Mentally, I feel as though I have an advantage in rough water.

I got out of the water in 34 minutes. Not great for me but I wasn't really breathing hard. Cardio-wise, I felt awesome. I think I may have taken 2 of the buoys too wide...but still a better time than last year...Decent transition and off I go on the bike...The wind was brutal...Mostly a head wind...The roads were bumpier this year vs. last year...and then, the dumbest mistake ever...My tires were not fully inflated...huge disadvantage. This effected me mentally.

I held 20 MPH for most of the bike. My ass hurt from the low tires and bad roads. I pressed all the way through and finished the bike in 2:42 or so...that was a let-down but I blamed the wind and the low tires...still a slight improvement over last year.

Now the run. This was a mental challenge. Last year in New Orleans, I had NOTHING on the run...absolutely nada. I did it in 2:01 last year. This year, I wanted to try to click as many 8:00 - 8:15 miles as possible...I wanted to improve my run off the bike...and I did.

First mile felt ok. It was HOT...mid-80s with humidity...I forced down some more food...Not easy in that heat. To my surprise, I did the first mile in 7:53. Next mile was 7:56 and then 8 on the button...I was happy with that but I was fading quickly...I did the whole run in 1:52 which is 8:33 miles. Good but not great. Final time was 5:16. So a PR and a 12 minute improvement in much harsher conditions. I was very satisfied.

It was also cool to see Cortney Haile at mile 6 or so when I was on mile 8...she was FLYING. I am absolutely amazed by how easy she makes the run look...She finished 2 seconds behind me and was announced right after me...very cool. I think she came in 6th in her AG and may have even broken 5 hours which is nuts considering the conditions. She is a STUD!

It was also awesome to meet big Jim L. He seemed fresh having finished in the pro field hours earlier...How can any human being do a 70.3 in less than 4:20???

Overall an awesome race...Strong improvement in worse conditions...46th in my AG out of 300...I will take it. Perfectly positioned for more improvement this summer...I plan to lay it down in Cancun on Sept. 19 and see if I can gut my way into a Clearwater slot...

Then - off to Ironman St. George.

I told my wife that me being in this race was like putting my 11-year old prodigy son in an elementary school in Compton, CA. Nothing about this race catered to my strengths. I love warm, rough water. This was 58 degree water with no chop. I love hot, humid air. This was 43 degrees, dry and windy...(snow was on the mountain tops within 1 mile of T-1). I love flat road surfaces with no wind...This was 10,000 feet of bike climbing and 30-40 mph gusts (head winds!!!)...I loathe hilly running surfaces...this was 11 degree inclines...up and down, up and down...

The day before the race, I went out with T-Bart and Josh Eckhaus to "test" the water. I have a tradition (superstition actually) of swimming in the water the day before a race WITHOUT a wet suit...If I can swim comfortably without a wet suit...race day will be that much more comfortable...After doing the "count" 7 or 8 times...1-2-3, go. 1-2-3, go. 1-2-3, go...I finally got the courage and dove into the reservoir. I have never had that feeling in my life...My whole body seized up and I felt like I was gonna drown. I could not breath...I was hyperventilating from the cold...

This was terrible mentally for me...I had already heard about the bike climbs and the horror stories from the run course...but this was the swim...my strength...I panicked...T-Bart says, "cmon man...that was warm...no worries...you will be fine" I was a mess..."how the F____ am I gonna swim 2.4 miles in this???"

I get out and immediately head back to the hotel (15 miles away) to get my wet suit and try again. An hour later, I was back in the water with my SLEEVE-less wet suit...I swam for 10 minutes. It was FREEEEZING...but I survived.

I tried to convince myself I was okay. If I can do that for 10 minutes...I will warm up and my adrenaline will take over...But wait...maybe not...maybe the adrenaline will be too much for my heart...aren't there stories of heart attacks in cold water because your heart over-works and you don't even realize it? OMG. I am going to have a heart attack and die at 39.

I tried to eat and sleep. No dice. It's like "fake sleep" the night before these races. I lie there...tossing and turning...saying to myself..."oh my god...I need to sleep...I can't do an Ironman with no sleep...why do I put myself through this???" Hours go by. T-bart is snoring. I am lying there...waiting, 12 AM, 1:30 AM...2:30 AM...3:30 AM...Torture. Wake up call? No need. I get outta bed. Coffee. Oatmeal. Duece (the only thing that went right on race morning). Special Needs bag...so many details and logistics in an Ironman race...I am out of my mind. T-Bart is as calm as can be...I hate him. Ya gotta love him.

The bus to the reservoir. Panic attack. "Sip your Pedialyte." Oh God...am I really going to puke on this transport bus? Another panic attack. I get out of the bus. T-1. It's pitch dark. 5:00 AM. Windy. REALLY windy. And cold. Legendary announcer Mike Reilly is full of energy. I remember being in Scotland for a golf vacation and every morning it was 40 degrees, windy and raining...our host would wake up and say, "It's a beautiful morning out there...PERFECT conditions..." Mike Reilly announces that the conditions are a "perfect 44 degrees and 57 degree water." Jesus Christ. The sun starts to rise...I can see the snow cap mountains...Please sun. Come up. Please warm up.

I go into the changing tent. Warmth. Hundreds of dudes sitting silently in the dark. Nervous energy. Ipods. I piss six times. I am shitting my pants. "OK. You can do this"....Pray and meditate. Two hours til the gun goes off...Why does everyone seem so calm?

Canon blasts @ 6:45 AM. The pros go off. Nerves. Helicopters. Try to enjoy the festive atmosphere. I walk into the water with T-Bart. Freezing. I convince myself that I can do this. T-Bart takes me to the front of the line...its like a death march..."You can do this John. You are a good swimmer. You CAN do this..." He then says... "look around...there are plenty of people here with sleeveless wet suits." I look around. Huh? Not one person...I am in the front of an Ironman Swim in a sleeveless wet suit...treading water and praying the Hail Mary....2,000 other nut-jobs are treading water around me. The cannon blasts. I am off.

Get into a rhythm. Get to the first red buoy. I get smashed in the head, gut and balls... I get my goggles kicked off. Now I am pissed. My face and my toes go numb. I get to the red buoy. I think to myself..."that had to be 25-30 minutes..." I look at my watch. WTF...9 minutes...

Stay steady. I try to draft off T-Bart. He's gone within 25 minutes. At 32 minutes...I am in 60 feet deep water and at the furthest point from land...I can barely see land...I am tired. Breast stroke here and there..."get your bearings. Stay calm. Panic kills." I distinctly remember looking up at every 10th stroke to see where the boats and kayaks were...I was thinking about how fast they could get to me if my body locked up...43 minutes..."OK...way past half way"...You can do this...you can do bear anything for 20 minutes. Stay steady.

Oh know...what's that??? I start to feel both calves lock up uncontrollably...I have never cramped in any race...ever. Both calves start to lock. I can not feel my toes. My fingers are tingling...

GET TO LAND. You are in trouble. GET TO LAND. I start to extend my strokes and pull harder...55 minutes. 60 minutes. I am almost there. GET TO LAND. I can hear the announcements of people getting out of the water. I go faster. I actually start to relax and feel good. At 1:09, I am done...

I start to run up the ramp and suddenly, I go blank...whoa...I am outta the water...but I am overcome by cold. I start to remember...the water is 57 but the air is 43. So, there is a double shock to the body. My whole body starts to shake....I am fading...The crowd is screaming in slow motion...Someone asks "can I help with your wet suit..." I offer a blank stare. "Sir are you okay..1459...are you okay..." More slow motion...everyone was talking in slow motion but my body was shaking uncontrollably...I am freezing...I am fading...I somehow think, "GET TO THE WARM TENT...GET THERE NOW..." I get to the warm tent and someone comes over to me, "talk to me 1459...are you okay..." Chattering teeth, I say, yu, yu, yu---yeessss-...ju, ju, just need some t t t t time..." I can't even open my bag and put on my clothes...some dude starts to open the bag for me. He was a life saver. I feel the instant warmth of the tent. I convince myself I am okay. Honestly, the tent felt like 100 degrees. Heaven. Maybe I am dead and this is heaven.

20 minutes later...I am dressed and out...But I think I was still in shock...T-Bart is waiting...He says, "Jesus Gamba, I was worried...are you okay???" I say, "let's roll"...On the bike...I explain the whole experience. He laughs. But in a good way...He convinces me that I am okay....I am shaking on my bike...

I say to T-Bart, "now that that is over...this is gonna be a great day..."

Think again.

I had it in my head that Louisville was hilly. Never did I expect what was about to come...At mile 22, we start the mountain climbs...a double loop with 5 climbs that were 8-11 degree inclines...I am going 5 mph on my small rail and red lining at 160-180 bpm..This is Zone 4 for me...

I finish one loop at an average speed of 15 mph...At mile 60, T-bart says, "the wind is kicking up...this is gonna be the hardest thing you will ever do in your life...after this, you may decide NOT to do the marathon...but you will finish this ride Gamba...You will do this" The winds were in the 25-30 mph range...Oh yeah...I have never been in altitude so @ 6,000 feet, my head was pounding and I was sucking wind...I stopped to pee 3 times.

I get done the 2nd loop...I almost walked the last climb. Four others around me walked it...they walked FASTER than I rode it. This was an evil course...Such a paradox...the most beauty scenery I have ever seen...but evil in every way - wind, climbs, cold.

There were two 17 mile stretches where you did not need to pedal...total down-hills...unfortunately, I can't handle 40 mph on the bike so I am clutching the brakes...I can't even enjoy the down-hills...I am petrified. One pro blows by me, hits a rut in the road and starts to teeter...I am convinced he is toast....his water bottles and CO2 fly off his bike and head toward me as projectiles...I am going 35 mph...I swerve...Oh My God...I barely kept it together...

"God if you get me through this, I promise to enjoy the run and never complain about anything ever again..."

One final climb at mile 110 (bastards!) and I am headed into T-2.

No such luck.

T-Bart heads into the tent looking fresh...Now ironically, he never intended to do the run...H ei s20 weeks out from Kona and knew the run would ruin his plan for Kona. I am sitting there naked and he says, "Gamba, there is no way I can allow you to go out on that run...it will destroy you...You are done..."

Nice. So much for confidence...

There was never a doubt. I head out and say to myself, "You are a runner. You can do this. don't walk until mile 10..." Of course, I am walking at mile 2.

This was a huge climb. I remind myself that the run course is a double loop...Anything I face now, I will have to do again after Mile 13. Strategy change...Walk the climbs...Run the descents. Hydrate at every aid station...At mile 10, I say, "don't switch to coke and chicken broth until mile 14..." I treated that like a reward. I see members of my Florida team in front me...uggghh...I am supposed to be faster than them... This is humbling...

Weird that I see older, heavier women in front of me...but I also see studly guys who seem more fit behind me??? Only in an Ironman.

The run ended up being "enjoyable..." Getting past mile 13 was a mental challenge but a huge cross-roads for me...I knew I could finish. I get to mile 20 and I start to reverse split the miles...I am okay...3 hours slower than Louisville but hey...I am okay...The coke and the broth were to die for - they were as heavenly as the T-1 tent after the swim...I mixed in some pretzels and potato chips. I must get better with nutrition. The Uncrustables worked for the bike...but I struggled to eat on the run...my stomach was toast.

I was humbled when a volunteer gave me a glow necklace...I never imagined that I would finish at night...Not only did I finish at night...It was LATE night. What a surreal feeling of running in the pitch dark in the mountains of Utah...very spiritual actually. I was humbled. I broke down and cried at Mile 22. I was Overcome. Totally broken. The last 2 miles were down-hill and I felt like I sprinted...The finish was not as festive as Louisville's 4th Street live...but it was awesome...the crowd and the spirt was very powerful.

The misery of this course and conditions were juxtaposed by the unbelievable beauty of southern Utah and the friendly St. Georgians. They were out in droves on the bike and run course - they were upbeat, cheerful and empathic. The volunteers responded to us as if we were studs, heroes and nuts all in one...I think they knew that this was a different kind of Ironman course...I think they knew that many people were dropping out and that only the strong survived. Many were dumbfounded by my speed and composure on Mile 24 and 25...So was I.

Many post-race reviews of the venue have concluded that this is the hardest Ironman course in the world. Harder than Placid. Harder than Wisconsin. Harder than the Canary Islands...What a confidence boost...If I could get through that...I could get through any challenge...athletically and non-athletically...

"John Gamba from Fort Myers, Florida...YOU ARE AN IRONMAN..."

Those words never get old...

2010 - The World Pursuit...

2009. What a year. Ups and Downs. Trials and tribulations. Super-highs and some bad lows.

First the good. I nailed my triathlon goals that were set exactly a year ago. I finished the Ironman in under 12:30. I podiumed in a race (3 actually). I went sub-20 in a 5K. I came in 3rd or better in my AG in each of the 3 disciplines...I dramatically improved my swim and bike and I stayed strong with my running. I was pseudo-coachable but have much more work to do there...and I stayed balanced with my training, work and family commitments...all things considered.

Most importantly, JJ is a gifted student with straight A's and a love of learning that I never had. He is compassionate, caring, curious and cool. He is growing up fast and just a joy to be around. Then, there's Benjamin Strider. I have connected more with him than anyone this past year. His bright smile and happy demeanor brings warmth to my heart every moment I have the pleasure of hanging out with him...There is complete unconditional love for both my boys...

Now the not so good. Mel and I lost our child soon after we went through another round of Invitro. This involved another surgical procedure that was heart-wrenching. My Dog died tragically. The family businesses continued to get rocked by the economy. I tore my right calf muscle shortly after IM Louisville and was not able to compete in Half Ironman Cancun...

I'd say the biggest "high" in 2009 was IM Louisville. I never thought I could train so hard through such tough conditions (95 degree heat all summer) and perform on race day with such strength and conviction. I can't believe I could bike 112 hours and run the entire marathon...I loved the run down the shoot, the culmination at the finish line and the after-math of sharing the exultation with hundreds of fellow triathletes. Can't wait to do it again this year.

The biggest low was not only losing Lyoko, but the stress of work, the shitty economy (especially in real estate) and the toll that takes on our family. The entrepreneur thing and working from home sets up a very dangerous dynamic of stress, long hours, short fuses and unpredictable compensation. It was tough to turn it off and let it go. The bad energy crept into our home and daily life. Not good.

2010 will be different. The economy is showing signs of life. I have had good conversations with Mel on how to better balance. I am learning to surrender and let go. Mel's got my back...she provides an awesome ying to my "workaholic and take on too much" yang...We are communicating openly about another Invitro or adoption option. I am blessed by family, friends and faith that keeps me grounded...I know that God never gives me more than I can handle.

In terms of my triathlon goals...There is only 1 goal for 2010.

WORLDS. I will qualify for The Half Ironman World Championships in Clearwater, FL in November. This will require me to come in 5th or better in my age group or have a slot roll down. This will undoubtedly require a sub-5 hour effort...That's 30 minute swim, 2:35 bike and a 1:45 run...and 5 minutes or less of combined transition.

Achieving this goal will be harder than achieving all goals from 2009. It will require me to train smart and be more coachable - total trust in Coach Angie. Achieving this will require a good/better diet. Achieving this will require dialing in my bike...I will do this...

New Orleans on April 18...Providence on July 11???...Then, Cancun, Mexico as a back-up in September.

First up. River, Roots and Ruts half marathon this Sunday...Hopefully this will be a sub-1:45 effort with no mis-haps...Then Disney Half and Maybe the Naples Half in January...This willa allow me to assess my run fitness...I hope to be where I was last year...I know that I am a faster swimmer and much better cyclist.

I have had a pretty strong off-season. I hope this set the foundation...