3rd Century Ride - 19.5 mph

So I went on my 3rd Century ride with the team this weekend. I held an amazing 19.5 mph for all of the 105 miles. We did stop 3 times (briefly) for hydration...so that is a bit of an *asterisk*...and it was pace lined...so that has to be factored...and I did get dropped in the last 10 miles by my coach and two others and that was depressing...but all in all...I am feeling pretty good about the progress and my prospects for Ironman Louisville.

Of course, several things have me concerned. First, my right knee flared up at the end of the ride. My bad knee. My ACL-less right knee that I have refused to fix. Second, my transition run was turtle slow. I think it was because I pushed so hard (for me) on the ride. Third, I really can't see myself running the entire marathon after a 112 mile bike. Fourth, what's up with the numbness I am feeling every 5-10 miles in my groin area? Gotta fix that! Fifth, is IronMan stupid when my entire focus and motivation is performing well in Half Ironman Cancun? All the literature says that it is stupid to try to race a race three weeks after an Ironman.

I don't want to be a quitter. I definitely do not want to wait til next May to do my first Ironman. I do know that all this training is making me stronger. But I don't want to kill myself in this race and then be "toast" for Cancun. Analysis paralysis. All the travel and logistics is also buzz kill.

This is typical for me. Anxiety. Manic episodes of worry and wasted energy. I just have to make a decision and go with it. T-Bart may be coming to Louisville and that is a plus. The swim is "down-stream" and that is cool. I know I can do the swim and bike and then at least 8-10 miles of the run...then I can walk.

I also have to look at the big picture...I have hit many of my goals that were set in January. I podiumed in two races. I came in first in one of the disciplines in a race (swimming in Englewood)...I ran a sub 20 minute 5K. I have to work on the balance and perspective and not get stressed out about Ironman and all the challenges associated with it. I have to train with a smile and smell the roses along the way. Life isn't perfect. Plans don't always line up. Balance doesn't always happen.

As I stress out here...irrationally...a team member rests in a hospital bed after being attacked by two dogs on her ride this past Saturday. She broke two bones and has spots on her head...Without a helmet, she would be dead...Talking about the unpredictable. Life can change in a heart-beat. I just have to live it. Breath. Smile. Laugh. Accept.